Before we can even get started with emotional regulation, we need to clearly understand the emotion we are experiencing in the moment. Most people are able to identify the emotions of happy, sad, fear and anger. These are very broad category emotions. But these emotion words do not give much nuance to what you are really experiencing.

When more clearly defined, anger could actually run all the way from jealousy to rage. Jealousy and rage are two very different emotions, but someone who is not yet able to clearly identify their emotions may simply say they feel angry.

Likewise someone may say that they feel happy, but the more nuanced feeling might actually be euphoric, amused or satisfied. Again all very different emotions.

One thing that science is proving in the last decade is that having a clear sense of our emotions, and a wide emotional vocabulary, can actually reduce one’s likelihood of abusing alcohol, make one less likely to become aggressive when angry, and even decrease depression and doctor’s visits.

This may sound surprising but this is backed up by neuroscience research and has been duplicated in numerous studies (see the links in the above paragraph). These studies show that those who have better emotional granularity, that is they have the ability to give a refined name to a specific felt emotion, are mentally and physically healthier.

People with more emotional granularity are also more likely to recover from serious illness and disease, like cancers, than those who have a narrow emotional understanding.

So what do we do if we score low on emotional granularity? You can start with exploring an emotion wheel. In the centre of the wheel are the more basic, broad category emotions. As you move to the outer rings of the wheel, there are more refinements to the basic emotion. Is this surprised feeling dismay or amazement?

By exploring these emotion wheels and by making a habit of taking a moment when you are having a strong emotion and accurately labeling it, you will get better and better at clarifying what emotion you are feeling. This can lead to a better sense of control over a situation.

If I have a sense that I am angry, I might not know what to do about that since there is little refinement to the emotion “angry”. But if it becomes clear to me that my anger is actually jealousy, I have a lot more information and choices on how to respond to that emotion.

Likewise if I feel fear and I can refine that feeling to inadequacy rather than an emotion of exposed, I can better understand what is going on and I am more able to examine how it is that I have constructed the emotion of inadequacy. Because yes, we construct our emotions, they are not simply triggered. But more on that another time!

There are three main parts to what we call emotional regulation. The first is the process where from our past experiences and what we are currently sensing, we construct an emotion. The second piece is consciously reconsidering and refining what we are feeling emotionally, then accurately labelling or relabelling it. The third part is deciding how to respond to that emotion.

By clicking on any of the three emotion wheels on this page, you will open a printable emotion wheel. With these you can start expanding your emotional IQ and awareness. By learning many words for emotions and accurately identifying which you are feeling, you can actually improve your health.

Another way to increase your emotional IQ or emotional vocabulary is to make up your own words for emotions. For instance, you might be moving out of a place you have lived for some time and have a lot of fond memories there but you are moving to a much nicer place. So you might make up your own word for that mixed feeling of emotions—sweet-leaving. Perhaps this word could also be used for that feeling when your child is leaving home and you are both excited for them and sad because you will miss them.

You can also learn emotion words from foreign languages. Like the Inuit word iktsuarpok—the anticipation you feel when waiting for someone, such that you keep going outside to check if they have arrived. Or the Bantu word mbuki-mvuki—the irresistible urge to chuck off your clothes when dancing! Or the Portuguese emotion saudade—a vague, dreaming wistfulness for a person, place or phenomena that may not even exist. All of these emotion words are very nuanced! They do not just say happy, sad or afraid. And people who can understand their emotions down to this level of granularity are healthier.

So give it a try. Take a look at or print out any of the three emotion wheels (click on them for a printable version). There are overlaps and subtle differences between each of them, there is no right or wrong emotion wheel since clearly there are thousands of emotion words missing from each. Pick the emotion wheel that works for you best and explore identifying your emotions as they arise. Maybe you’ll even create a new emotion word yourself.